I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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