All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
