I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
