My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
