as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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