You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
