I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
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so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
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How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize