Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
