the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
