I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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