2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
