Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
