Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
