who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
