hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
