My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
