honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
