Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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