its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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