Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
