Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
