Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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