but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
please don't ironically join a cult
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