if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
