"it" just moved
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
