So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
