Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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