You really coming over, don't trick.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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