so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
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Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
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My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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