So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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