can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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