It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
