Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
