you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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