There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
