Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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