Whod you bang
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
