he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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