it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
