i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Everything about him screamed your future.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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