It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
