Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
