Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
