My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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