I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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