Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
