I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
