hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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