Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
