i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
