the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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