bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
