never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
