i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Drake has all the answers
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
