why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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