I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
