I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
