she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
