Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
